Men’s Shadow Work Coaching
Helping you explore, articulate and remove the unconscious influences holding you back
Go inward to move forward
"Nicholas has been instrumental in guiding me through a journey of healing from past traumas. His unique and effective coaching processes have been nothing short of amazing. His conscientious approach, coupled with a deep spiritual understanding, creates a safe and supportive environment for personal growth.Nick's kindness and empathy shine through in every session, fostering a sense of trust that allowed me to open up about sensitive experiences. His skillful techniques and insightful guidance have empowered me to navigate and process my past traumas with newfound strength and resilience.I highly recommend Nick as a coach for anyone seeking a compassionate, spiritual, and skilled professional to guide them through their healing journey. His dedication to helping others transform their lives is truly commendable, and I am grateful for the positive impact he has had on my well-being." Paul V.
As the 'OG' of Shadow Work, Carl Jung, says:
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”Shadow Work Coaching is not just endless talking therapy and reliving the past. That’s time consuming and ineffective.Limiting beliefs, childhood conditioning, trauma and negative self-chat ALL have a root cause in our unconscious stories we tell ourselves every day.Access those stories, identifying and defining the beliefs that they create and changing them is 'the work'.Shadow Work Coaching utilises powerful:
• Integrated breathwork practices
• Story work method
• Self-talk language models
• And a courageous self-inquiry processThese proven, effective methods help reconnect you with your intuition and inner knowing, leading to authentic confidence and solid self-worth from within.
Men's workMost men are terrible at articulating their inner world, causing a lot of friction in relationships (including their relationship with themselves).Some men play small, people pleasing their way through life doing everything to avoid confrontation or making too much noise.A lot of men numb themselves with over-consumption, from TV to porn to food to work, in an attempt to silence the inner critic and negative self-talk.But it doesn’t work, a few decades of this and you get a lot of lonely, isolated, and suicidal men in their 40’s.
Men’s conditioning runs deep
Men in our ancestry would sit together and talk, share, laugh, celebrate, teach, listen and grieve together.This is the power of connection and community.Because of our modern-day unconscious backward approach to educating boys with…“Man up
Don’t cry
Keep it together
Work harder“We have a distinct lack of community, elders, and role models among men. We have lost the emotional vocabulary, language tools and necessary breath mechanics to reconnect to ourselves, each other and the divine (however you define it).Men who unlearn this ‘lone wolf’ mindset, and relearn to articulate, explore and express their inner world, reconnect themselves to their innate joy, passion for life, playfulness, love and inner peace.Men who feel worthy, respected, seen and understood.
THE TEN PILLARS OF MEN’S COACHING
1) Meaningful Dialogue
Engaging in profound conversations where you are heard, seen and respected, receiving insightful reflections, and practical guidance to propel you forward.2) Masculine Role Modelling
Providing a strong, grounded masculine presence, especially important if you lacked such a figure in your life, moving beyond the "Mr. Nice Guy" persona to embody true strength and stability.3) Empowerment
Learning to reclaim your power, particularly in relationships, and showing up assertively rather than submitting or giving away your strength.4) Purpose and Values
Developing a clear sense of specific, direct purpose and meaning in life, along with well-defined values to guide your decisions and actions.5) Confidential Space for Relationship Talk
Offering a secure and confidential environment, separate from friends or partners, to openly discuss relationship dynamics and challenges.6) Accountability
Fostering a sense of responsibility and commitment, especially in contexts where respect for a mentor or coach enhances your motivation to fulfil promises and goals.7) Emotional Intelligence
Encouraging the freedom to express your truth and emotions, recognising that vulnerability is a form of strength and that expressing feelings requires courage.8) Community and Support
Building a network of support, community, and true friendship, encouraging you to create and nurture meaningful connections in your life.9) Overcoming Limitations
Challenging you to move beyond playing small, fostering love, connection, intimacy, and an excitement for life.10) Breaking Repetitive Patterns
Guiding you to recognise and alter repetitive behaviours that limit your experiences, ensuring you fully embrace and participate in life.
Get in touch
Are you are plagued by past experiences, memories or expectations that just won’t leave you alone.
Sometimes we project our own shadow onto others.
If you find yourself blaming others, or a victim of others, then it is likely there are unconscious influences on your life.
The Victim mindset
The victim mindset goes by many names and has many forms.
"The victim mindset is an acquired personality trait where a person tends to regard themselves as the victim of the negative actions of others even in the absence of clear evidence." – Mark England – Head Coach @enlifted
The victim mindset robs people of their power and potential, preventing personal and professional growth.
Shadow Work Coaching helps you move towards an empowered mindset focused on responsibility, accountability, and proactive problem-solving.
The victim mindset is hidden (in plain sight) in the English language, in our words, beliefs, and stories we hold about ourselves and the world around us.
Modern men suffer in silence
Because most men (and boys) do not actively practice their emotional vocabulary or emotional intelligence when they are growing up.We are not taught how to use our breath and our stories to integrate and move beyond old, inherited beliefs about ourselves.I wasn’t, and it made me shut down and shut-off a huge part of my internal landscape that ultimately led me to withdraw, numb, collapse and feel unworthy.Without that consistent safety and expression of my inner world, I lived other people’s lives and expectations. I was completely disconnected from my intuition and inner knowing. I had no inner guidance, so I did what I thought I should do to please others, to receive love from others and to seek external validation from outside myself (the very opposite of authentic confidence and solid self-worth).It did not work. It was a one-way ticket to frustration, loneliness and the collapse and despair of depression.I’ve lived most of my adult life in and out of bouts of debilitating depression, numbing, people pleasing, limiting beliefs and an inner critic who just wouldn’t shut the f*ck up.I started doing something about it about 15 years ago, diving into the world of meditation and yoga, which definitely helped, but didn’t cure the root problem.I explored the world of plant medicines, which included a terrifying and challenging journey into the jungle of Peru, it helped show me a potential ‘me’ that was worth the effort, but it was just a glimpse of what’s possible. It didn’t cure the mindset problem.Whatever I tried, the inner critic, the negative self-talk and the limiting beliefs would return.It was only my introduction to Shadow Work, with its bridge to the unconscious influences working through my mindset, words, stories and breath mechanics that really shone a light on the root cause.
Never again
Since working in this way, my mindset has shifted beyond my wildest expectations (no joke!), and I self-coach myself through this process on a regular basis.I am now fully committed to bringing this work to other men who simply want to get on with their life without the sh*t-talking inner critic (I call mine the ‘little diablo gremlin’) getting in the way of passion and progress.
Curious to know more?
The most effective way to experience the power of Shadow Work is to experience it.You can book a compatibility call with me by filling in the Calendy link below.